Modern Romance
Problematic problems
Been reading romance novels lately because I’m gearing up to write one. One of the problems in romance is writing realistic obstacles, stakes, conflicts, etc. I find this especially problematic for novels set in modern times.
For example, sexual tension is tough to make plausible if your principal characters are “modern” non-religious people, because sexual mores basically don’t exist. What’s the barrier to just jumping in the sack with somebody? I’ve read several lately where the author has chosen to give the female protagonist some kind of logical reason for this. She’s either an abuse victim and finds physical involvement “too much” or is mourning a dead husband/boyfriend and can’t move on etc.
In every instance so far, for me, it becomes tiresome by the halfway point. I especially hate the heavy petting which reads to me like a giant tease on her part. I have difficulty liking a woman who gets a guy wound up and then says, “I’m not ready.”
The other trope is separation by distance as a conflict or deal-breaker. I’m not saying long-distance dating is a good idea, because it isn’t. However, making a crisis out of a few months’ separation like it’s something a relationship can’t weather doesn’t work for me in this age of instant communication.
Up until the late 90s geographical separation meant long-distance ($$$) phone calls and letter writing. If somebody was traveling, how would the person at home know where to send letters unless they had the other person’s itinerary? It was a challenge. Now? Shoot somebody a text. Attach a photo. Facetime them. All instantaneous. You need some in-person time and your sweetheart is several states away? That’s a few hours of flight time. On the other side of the Atlantic? Pre-air travel this meant a good week of travel at the very least. Today? A day’s travel time.
This is why so many modern romances annoy me. There’s a lot of drama, especially on the woman’s part, that just comes off as neurotic because it seems like a lot of angst over nothing. I very much appreciate the effort it takes to write realistic romance these days with building tension and a satisfying payoff, because western culture is all about instant gratification, which I find boring as a reader.
This is probably why I like historical novels/romances so much more.
I’ll note that modern capabilities make long distance relationships harder, not easier. All you needed to prove that was to walk into a call center during a GWOT deployment and listen to everyone yelling at their significant other over the phone.
Well said! I haven't read any romance novels in probably 20 years. They had all gotten so raunchy. I miss the old Harlequins, which were often just travel logs with some romance that ended up with a kiss and marriage at the end. I learned so much about Africa, Europe, Australia, and such from them...okay, probably not very realistic things, but I enjoyed it at the time!